So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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