I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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