so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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