I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
