I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He better not be in your backpack
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
