We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
