I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
