I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
