he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
