No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
