Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
