I'm so fucking centered right now
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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