At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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