my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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