I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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