I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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