Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
