So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
