My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Randomize
