Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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