You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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