none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
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My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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