Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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