Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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