i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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