This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You don't make any sense
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