I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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