Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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