Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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