you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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