chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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