He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
