HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize