Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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