So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
