And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I got inside last night via doggy door
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
