There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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