On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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