You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
