Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
