Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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