stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize