i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
