People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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