It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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