at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
