census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
