If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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