Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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