he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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