i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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