Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
