Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she peed on how many people?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize