I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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