i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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