yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The Olympian is in my bed
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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