If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
