i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
