great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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