Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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