I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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