I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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