im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
