I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
