She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
