I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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