Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
